BARN MANAGERS, STAFF & BOARDERS: Thoughts on Our Individual Responsibilities

It's late afternoon in a busy barn. Stable-hands are bringing horses in from turnout while several students are in the aisles tacking up their horses for lessons. Suddenly, a large warmblood spooks and barges through the door, shoving his young handler in the process and almost knocking her down. In a flash, the girl gives a yank on the lead rope and strikes out, landing a solid backhand to the center of the horse's chest. The horse settles down almost instantly and she leads him calmly to his stall. 

This incident happened several years ago at a barn I was managing. As I happened to be standing by the door, I witnessed the entire thing. So did a brand new boarder. Horrified and concerned, the new boarder pulled me aside to tell me that she didn't want anyone treating her horse in that manner... she didn't want my staff thinking it was okay to smack her horse for any reason. I told her I could understand her concern, but I couldn't guarantee it wouldn't happen.

From my perspective, the young employee handled the incident quite well. She didn't hurt that horse, but she surprised him. She got him to settle down quickly, unemotionally. She prevented him from bolting down the aisle... successfully averting potential injury not only to herself and to him, but to all the students and horses that stood between that horse and its stall. That's something I fervently applaud. 

Would the employee have acted so quickly if she was worried about others' opinions of her? Oh, absolutely not. She would've hesitated... and that's where trouble begins. One of the main reasons stable-hands (or anyone, for that matter) get injured by horses is because they hesitate to correct dangerous behavior for fear someone will think they are mean. That is a load of crap nobody needs to suffer, especially the horses. 

Well-trained horses are smart enough to know what mannerly behavior is. Whether any of us likes it or not, horses get downright anxious when mannerly behavior is not enforced!

On that note, here are some thoughts I shared with that new boarder on the subject:

Barn managers have, in my opinion, a responsibility for training employees on how to get and maintain mannerly behavior from horses...and for having their employees backs on the subject. Specifically, and most importantly, that means educating boarders on the fact that correcting unmannerly behavior is not cruel but necessary for everyone's well-being.

Stable-hands have a responsibility for keeping themselves and others as safe as possible by learning what mannerly behavior is and insisting on it. By all means, they have a right to defend their own bodies by giving a serious reprimand when needed.

Horse-owners should trust that nobody (at least no one I've met) seeks employment at a barn for the opportunity to hit a horse. But every now and then a horse might need a serious reprimand. Somebody better step up for everyone's safety. I truly believe if you can't bear the thought of others correcting your horse in ways they deem necessary, you should take on the responsibility of being the only one to handle it.

That new boarder had every right to question the way I ran that barn... and every right to receive an honest response. I wouldn't have been offended if she decided to leave. Transparency fosters understanding though. I'm happy she chose to stay and trust me and my staff to care for her horses for many years.

Horses fare best when barn staff and horse owners work together to get and maintain mannerly behavior. We humans fare best when we cut each other some slack and remember that we are all in this together for the love of horses. A fact we all should keep in mind is that the more we work together to maintain mannerly behavior, the less likely the need for any of us to have to dole out serious reprimands. 

Those are my thoughts on our individual responsibilities. What are yours?

_______________________________________

"Best book on the market. I recommend it to all my clients. Easy to read and understand. Highly recommend this book for all equestrians."

-Susan Dudasik

CLICK HERE TO ORDER YOUR

COPY TODAY AND SAVE 15%!

QUICK TIPS FOR SAFE, CALM HORSE-SHOWING

If you are traveling to horse shows this year and have even the slightest inkling that your horse might be nervous coming off the trailer, get out ahead of that situation now. Don't just wait to see how your horse will handle the show environment. Plan on helping him handle it calmly. Here are a few tips.

Up until the show:

1. Give up habits that don't work in your favor, such as thinking and talking about either you or your horse being nervous at shows in the past. The past is in the past. It means nothing. Let it go.
2. Remind yourself daily that it is up to you as the leader to set the tone at horse shows by staying calm yourself. That's your number one job. Everything else comes secondary to that.
3. Create momentum in your favor by thinking and talking about how calm you are going to be at the show, how you are going to breathe deeply and not overreact to anything. Your horse is going to feed off your energy, so talk about how you are going to provide all the cool, calm energy he could possibly need.
4. Most importantly, take your horse through some bomb-proofing exercises to prepare the both of you for sights and sounds at horse shows, such as tents, flags, loud noises, etc. Bear in mind that the purpose of bomb-proofing not to desensitize your horse to sights and sounds, but rather to get yourself in the habit of getting your horse to pay attention to you despite sights and sounds. (My book provides clear, concise instruction if you need help getting started.)

Day of the show:

1. Arrive at the show early to give yourself plenty of time to help your horse relax.
2. Once you get your horse off the trailer, take him for a walk around the show grounds keeping this important point in mind: for your walk to settle your horse's nerves, you must walk with that purpose and provide guidance toward that purpose. (That's the part many people don't get.) A simple but effective way to provide that guidance is to ask your horse to halt and back up whenever he crowds your space, pulls on the lead rope, or just seems to be paying attention to everything but you. Whether you have to ask for the halt/back-up five, ten, or one hundred times, it doesn't matter. What matters is that you calmly, consistently, unemotionally keep on asking until your horse is walking calmly by your side.

Allowing your horse to come into a state of calmness before warming up or asking any more of him will get your show experience off on a wonderful note. Good luck! I wish you fun and safety this show season.

________________________________________

"Just got your book and I can't put it down! Packed with knowledge and instruction, can't wait to pass on the gold!"

-Katie Keller Trosclair

CLICK HERE TO ORDER & SAVE 15%

UNEXPECTED TRANSITIONS: Tips on Handling Horses' and Life's Sudden Surprises

Transitioning into the new year had me thinking quite a bit about transitions. When we know a change of pace is coming, we can plan for it. But what if a horse suddenly slams on the brakes or lurches to one side or the other? It's during these "surprise" transitions that many riders fall off or get scared. Often folks come away from these experiences feeling as if they had lost something important (confidence in themselves, trust in their horse, etc.) rather than gained something valuable. Then there are those riders who appear to have butts made of Velcro. It seems horses can't do anything to unseat them. What's their secret?

I recently gained some insight when I was met with a surprise transition of my own... one that did not occur on horseback. This particularly abrupt change took place in my personal life, which is something I don't usually blog about. But since we're talking about transitions, it seems a fitting time for me to transition out of my norm. Long story short, my beloved Gerald decided he no longer wanted to be my beloved. Apparently he made that decision some time ago, but I learned about it just before the holidays when a friend I haven't heard from in many years called to tell me his girlfriend had been cheating on him for several months...with Gerald.

Now, I adore Gerald. I have since the day I met him, and I was planning on spending many more years with him. From my perspective, we were two peas delighted to be in the same pod. I had no idea we were having problems, so initially you could have knocked me over with a feather... especially given the strangeness of him hooking up with my old boyfriend's girlfriend combined with the sudden discovery of his freakishly magnificent acting skills. But it didn't take me long to realize I have a Velcro butt of my own, at least when it comes to riding life's surprises. 

In retrospect, I gained this bit of clarity. It doesn't matter if it's your horse that decides to bolt or the man you love, unexpected transitions are what they are. Whether you are sitting in a saddle or in a chair at your dining room table, similar concepts apply to riding them beautifully. 

It's important to know not only where your center of balance is, but what its purpose is. In the saddle, your center of balance is in your core, that unseen part of you that lies between your navel and your spine. You have to feel for it to find it, and then allow the weight of your body to extend evenly from it. That takes a lot of concentration at first...a lot of consciously thinking about what your body is doing... because most of us have ways of carrying ourselves crooked without being aware of it. The purpose of your center of balance is to allow you to carry yourself upright and independently so your horse can move freely beneath you.

In life, your center of balance is in your soul, that unseen part of you that knows you are worthy of unconditional love and happiness. Most of us are taught we are anything but, so we learn to think crookedly without being aware of it. Try going an entire day without having a single negative thought about yourself or anyone else and you'll see what I mean. You don't have to go feeling around to find your soul because every emotion you experience lets you know it's right there...and whether or not you are in alignment with it.  Thoughts that feel positive are; those that don't are not. Your soul's purpose is to allow you carry yourself upright and independently, free to enjoy being yourself while allowing others the freedom to be themselves.

It's important to trust your center of balance. For you to trust your center of balance in the saddle, you must strengthen the muscles around it. It's only when you are strong in your core that you will be able to relax your limbs and allow your center of balance to do its job. Same goes for your center of balance in life. You've got to trust your soul to guide you to your greatest joy. You don't have to strengthen your soul. It's already incredibly strong. But you do have to strengthen your mind so it can relax and let your soul to do its job. 

While strengthening your core muscles calls for you to move your body, strengthening your mind calls for you to move your thoughts. It gets you thinking about the thoughts rambling around in your head, and then adjusting any negative thoughts until they feel more positive. Souls have only positive opinions about everything. So, once you start the process you will begin to discover feeling negative about anything is just lazy thinking.

Sink in. On horseback, this is equivalent to allowing your weight to drop down in the saddle and anchor you in place. Doing so allows you to feel as if you are one with the horse. In life, it is equivalent to allowing yourself to believe what makes you happy. You get to believe whatever you want, so why not? Try it for awhile and you'll start to feel as if you are one with the whole universe.

Practice regularly and with purpose. To get good at anything, you have to practice regularly...and with the intention of getting really good at it. You can't practice riding a bolting horse unless your horse actually bolts, but you can practice strengthening your core muscles, trusting your center of balance, and sinking into your horse rather than just perching on top of him. The more you practice these things, the more prepared you will be to remain calm and go with the flow should your horse happen to bolt.

I spent literally zero time practicing for Gerald to bolt, but I have spent a ton of time moving my thoughts around on many different subjects in effort to line up with my soul's positive opinion on everything. So, despite not foreseeing this transition, I was definitely prepared to go with the flow. I'm not saying it didn't hurt. It was the most disturbing pain I've ever felt in my life, which is why it took me about two seconds to let go of it. I don't like feeling pain at all. I like feeling happy. I can't control what Gerald or anyone else does, but I can always reach for thoughts that make me feel good no matter what Gerald or anyone else does.

It makes me feel good to think about the joy and laughter Gerald brought into my life. It makes me feel good to think I did a really good job of seeing the best in him and loving him unconditionally. As a result, I got to spend eight years of my life hanging out with a man I adore and thinking all the while he felt the same way about me. That was really fun!

Except for the weird and uncomfortable ending Gerald presented, I had an incredibly good time. So when he asked if I wanted to "talk about it," every instinct in my body led me to say no and I'm glad I did. I'm glad I let him walk away keeping his negative opinions about me and our relationship to himself. My positive ones feel positively great to me, and they are the only ones I want to carry into my future.

Unexpected transitions, whether on horseback or in life in general, are what they are. How we handle them is proof of what we've spent time practicing. Practice with purpose, my friends, and you will be prepared not only to survive abrupt changes but to thrive through them. 

FEAR VS. RESPECT: Why the Debate?

After tackling submission and cooperation in my last post, I thought it would be helpful to shed some insight on fear and respect. Many professionals tip toe around these words with statements like, "You don't want your horse to fear you, but you do want him to respect you." Sounds lovely, but it also sounds like a debate...as if there is something wrong with one and something right with the other. I think riders should understand that horses see right with both.

To gain clarity, it's helpful to look first at the definitions of the two words. Fear is a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger or pain. For protective purposes, Mother Nature endowed horses and humans with the ability to both feel fear and arouse fear in others. That capacity is a crucial part of the emotional guidance systems for both species, a part that helps protect us from harm.

Respect, on the other hand, is esteem for the worth of a being and offering proper courtesy. True, deep-down respect comes from understanding and appreciating the whole of a being, not just the parts with which we are initially comfortable.

Many people are comfortable with the gentle side of the horse's nature...but not so much the horse's stronger side, the side that causes them to feel fear. Quite often when horses start biting, kicking or threatening people, folks start thinking something is wrong with them. The horses' value starts to plummet...in people's minds anyway, but certainly not in the horses'.

One of the most interesting things about horses is that their own respect for themselves is always in tact. There's no reason for it not to be. Horses don't teach each other there is anything shameful with any of them, so they never learn to doubt or question their own self-worth. In that regard, horses do not need us to hold them in high esteem to feel good about themselves.

I believe this is what draws us to them, and other animals, more than anything else. It's refreshing, uplifting, and often a huge relief being in the presence of creatures that really, truly like themselves. There is a ton of worry associated with destroying that spirit but, as far as I can tell, humans do not have that capability. 

We do, however, have the ability to misinterpret horse behavior. Horses that steam-roll their humans are often seen as spoiled...as having no respect. That's not the case at all. They are actually showing respect to their humans by bullying them. They do the same with other horses for two reasons:

1. As prey animals, horses are driven by instinct to gain the strength and speed needed to defend themselves from predators.
2. As herd animals, they are driven to help other members of the herd learn to defend themselves as well. Horses neither get nor give free passes on this because individual accountability makes for a strong herd.

Horses can sense a weak link like nobody's business. And when they do, they provide those herd members (whether horse or human!) opportunities to learn how to stand up for themselves. It is not disrespect. It is schooling. Humans who step up to the challenge become an asset to the herd. Those who don't remain a hindrance...and have no idea the stress and anxiety they cause their horses.

I think professionals in this industry can alleviate much of that stress by debating less and clarifying more. Nothing wrong with saying straight up, "It is perfectly reasonable to cause a horse to feel fear of you in necessary defense of your own body. Horses can handle it. They know there is something fierce in you. They need to know it is fierce enough to protect them. They will never come to fear you for it."

Folks who start realizing this do not all of the sudden begin gaining respect from horses. The horses' respect has been there all along. What they gain is an understanding and appreciation for the stronger side of their own nature...thus a deeper respect for the whole of the horse's nature as well.

___________________________________

Start your journey toward becoming A Leader Prepared to Handle Anything!

Order The ALPHA Equestrian Challenge today! Click HERE to save 15%.

SUBMISSION IS NOT A DIRTY WORD

The word submission is getting a lot of flack in the horse world these days. Even some well-renowned trainers are expressing distaste for it. To me, that's like hearing folks who are savoring delicious warm apples baked inside a flaky pastry shell claim they don't like pie. Perhaps the word submission is misunderstood.

Concepts of beating or forcing horses into submission no doubt creates aversion to the word. Yet, submission itself, the act of yielding oneself to the power or authority of another, should not be looked upon with degradation. Submission is not a dirty word...and it is too important a part of cooperative relationships for us to be turning it into one. 

When partners have differing opinions, one of them must submit...to defer to the other's judgment...for the team to move forward cooperatively. If my horse and I are out on a trail and a bear should happen to come creeping out of the woods, you better believe I'm going to submit to my horse's leadership and allow him to get us the hell out of there as fast as he can. But, if my horse is telling me he's concerned about a bicycler peddling toward us, I want him to submit to me and allow me to guide him calmly past the bike. 

It's not an unreasonable request. If I've spent some time proving to him I can make good decisions about our safety, I can reasonably expect my horse to grant me his submission. Horses are reasonable creatures. They are willing to submit to all kinds of things when asked in a reasonable manner, just like you and I. 

Horses know very well that without submission there is no cooperation. It's understandable that folks would be uncomfortable with the word if they think horses are the only ones doing the submitting. Oh, no, no. Horses are masters of art of cooperative social interaction, which is why they unashamedly challenge humans to submit to them as well. 

Most assuredly yielding to a horse's power starts by not freaking out or getting upset over any behaviors it might present. It's all normal horse behavior. As for yielding to a horse's authority? That beautiful journey begins the moment you first realize your horse just taught you something. 

In the give and take of healthy relationships, submission is the give part. It is a gift all riders should become comfortable offering, asking for, and accepting...gracefully. All the great trainers figure this out. That's what makes them great.

Perhaps those who are now hating on the word are just not consciously aware of how much submission of their own is poured into their exquisitely harmonious relationships with horses. Rather than expressing distaste for the word, they would do better to help riders gain clarity it. Submission is the gift exchange that creates cooperative partnerships. Ain't nothing ugly about that.

__________________________________

Start creating your own cooperative partnership with your horse by ordering

The ALPHA Equestrian Challenge today! Click here to save 15%.

15 Minutes Crucial to Riding Students

Each week, before climbing in the saddle for her riding lesson, nine-year old Audrey spends several minutes working with her horse on the ground. Ask her why and she'll tell you, "To make sure he's calm and paying attention to me." If you think the time she spends doing this isn't crucial, think again. 

In those moments on the ground, Audrey is getting a feel for her horse's mood that day. If he seems distracted, she is learning how to help him focus. If he seems sluggish, she is learning how to rev up his energy. If her horse seems anxious, she is learning how to calm him down. She is developing good leadership skills, while building a trusting bond with the horse. Most importantly, Audrey is practicing making good decisions for her both her own safety and her horse's. 

Recently Audrey was riding in a semi-private lesson when her horse alerted to a commotion outside the arena and came to a sudden halt. She attempted to press him forward but the horse starting getting nervous. Beginning to feel a bit nervous herself, Audrey hopped down and took the horse through several exercises to calm and refocus the both of them. When she climbed back in the saddle, she was able to ride safely past the commotion which was still underway.

In comparison, it wasn't that long ago that I witnessed a seventeen year-old prepare for a riding lesson by walking her horse into the arena and climbing immediately into the saddle. Within seconds her horse took off, bolting full-speed for several harrowing laps around the arena before she managed to get him to stop. When the instructor arrived moments later and asked the shaken teenager what happened, she replied, "I don't know. He just took off. I could tell he was a little nervous when I was getting on, but I didn't expect that."

She probably would have seen it coming a mile away had she received the leadership education Audrey's been receiving. It's no fluke that one horse bolted and the other one didn't. Leadership education is the difference between a rider who is prepared to prevent a horse from panicking and one who isn't. It's the difference between a rider who solves behavior issues and a rider who has no idea she is causing them.

Ask Audrey what's her most important job as an equestrian and she'll tell you, "To keep myself and my horse safe." She knows the fun she has riding depends on it. I'm not sure what the seventeen year-old's answer would be, but I do know this: the longer she remains in riding lessons without developing some decent leadership skills, the greater her chances of getting injured.

It doesn't have to take more than 15 minutes per lesson to help students develop good leadership skills. But, for leadership education to become normal in lesson programs, it most certainly takes riding instructors, students (of all ages) and parents understanding how crucial those 15 minutes are. 

Please join the challenge to create a safer riding lesson industry.

_______________________________________

"Best book on the market. I recommend it to all my clients. Easy to read and understand. Highly recommend this book for all equestrians."     - Susan Dudasik

ORDER HERE AND SAVE 15%

TALK YOURSELF OUT OF FEAR AND INTO CONFIDENCE

When Emma arrived at the barn for her first lesson with me, she was beyond scared of horses. She was so terrified of them a huge part of her wanted to turn around and go home before we even got started. A handful of harrowing experiences had already taught her just how dangerous horses can be. Emma didn't need me painting a rosy picture for her. What she needed was for me to validate her concerns, and then provide her an arsenal of tools to help her take good care of herself. Doubting she has that ability is what caused her fear in the first place.

Fear is something everyone can relate to, even the seemingly fearless. Case in point, a phenomenal horseman I knew ages ago had a small barn cat he loved immensely. One cold winter morning, he started up his truck having no idea the cat had crawled into the warm engine during the night to sleep. Sadly, turning the key killed the little cat...and brought that brave, confident cowboy so much heartache he couldn't bring himself to even pet another cat for fear of falling in love with one again. Fear is fear, and we all embrace it out of self-preservation because we don't like pain...whether emotional or physical.

Let's face it, getting bitten and stepped on by horses hurts. Falling off horses hurts. Getting bucked off horses hurts even more. Emma's got good reason to fear horses because they can hurt her very easily. But, at ten years old, Emma has already figured out that what's going to hurt the most is denying herself the kind of life she wants to live. When I asked her why she chose to stay that first day despite being so scared, she said, "Because I love horses. They are my favorite animal and there's this side of me that just doesn't want to give up."

There's no worse feeling for a horse lover than that of being afraid of horses. If you're in that spot, you know exactly what I'm talking about. But honestly, that pit in your stomach is not meant to stay there permanently. Fear is simply a warning telling you to proceed with caution, but for heaven's sake, proceed. For your own happiness.

To find her happiness with horses, Emma's got to be able to hold her own among them. She is beginning to discover just how capable she is of doing that... of preventing horses from pushing her around and freaking her out. She is also learning how to prevent herself from freaking out horses. Horses don't tolerate dramatics from frightened riders, and instructors don't do students any favors not sharing that info from the get go.

No matter how frightened she feels, Emma knows it is one hundred percent on her to keep herself calm. Nobody else can do that for her. She's getting pretty darn good at talking herself out of fear and into confidence. Literally. You should hear her...

"I can keep myself calm. I can take deep breaths to keep myself calm. I can sing and laugh and say dumb, funny stuff to keep myself calm. Charlie is a well-trained horse but if I act like I'm scared I will freak him out. I will be fine. Nelly will be right by my side, and she will stay by my side until I feel more confident."

You should hear her after she's done something she was scared to do...

"That didn't kill me. It didn't even hurt me. I am perfectly fine. Charlie is perfectly fine. I did it. It was really scary, but I did it!" 

You should hear her when she is attempting something new...

"I can do this. I've already done lots of other stuff I was afraid to do and now I'm not afraid to do those things any more, and that feels really good. Soon I will not be afraid to do this either. Charlie is counting on me to keep myself calm and I can. I know I can!"

Last night, Emma tacked up Charlie, lead him into the arena, did some ground work with him, and then mounted and rode on her own (off the lunge line) at the walk and trot. 

Considering less than two months ago she was terrified to put a halter on him, the difference is astounding. Surely the main contributing factor is the conversations Emma has been having with herself. I'm delighted she's having them out loud because it is an incredibly powerful way for her to connect with her true self, that larger part of her that knows she is perfectly capable of becoming the horse woman she wants to be. Plus, it's enormous fun for me listening to this young rider squash, one by one, every single doubt she has about her ability to take care of herself. 

Fear is the only thing standing in the way of dreams, and it rears its ugly head anytime we doubt our abilities. If you are doubting yours, I hope Emma inspires you to start talking more positively to yourself...out loud, if needed. Sometimes that's what it takes to drown out the voice of doubt.

_____________________________________

The ALPHA Equestrian Challenge is chock full of tools to help you take care of yourself around horses! Click here to order you copy today.

NEVER MIND THE HORSE, HOW BOMB-PROOF ARE YOU?

If you think a bomb-proof horse is your ticket to safe riding, you are probably in for an unpleasant surprise. That's because the scariest thing most horses encounter are riders who think horses are supposed to keep them safe. No amount of bomb-proofing prepares horses for that. Between you and your horse, you are the one who is supposed to be keeping the two of you safe...not the other way around. So, never mind the horse. How bomb-proof are you?

Before going any further, I want to make it clear that folks who think bomb-proofing is about desensitizing horses have it all wrong. To desensitize a horse you'd have to stick ear plugs in its ears, slap blinders on it, or do some such thing that actually dulls its senses.

Bomb-proof horses haven't been de-sensitized at all. Rather, they have been made sensitive to the fact that a human is willing and able to keep them safe. Relieving horses of that responsibility is what allows them to behave calmly despite all kinds of crazy distractions. Whether or not a bomb-proof horse behaves calmly for you depends entirely upon you letting him know that you are willing to do the same.

While going through the bomb-proofing process, horses get used to enjoying the type of calm, assured leadership that helps them get over their drama and find confidence in themselves. Horses thriving in that positive energy aren't necessarily chomping at the bit to carry around riders who carry nervous, fretful energy. If you are one of them, you need to know that even the most bomb-proof horse will eventually protest and challenge you to get over your own drama.

Even if you are not the nervous type, you can expect bomb-proof horses to offer you subtle challenges anyway. If you are unaware of how or why horses do this, you are unaware of the leadership horses need from you to behave calmly for you. You're certainly not alone. Most riders learn how to ride but learn next to nothing about how to get horses to behave calmly. Crazy but true...hence the reason I encourage riding instructors to join the challenge to create a safer industry.

Far too many riders miss out on receiving a basic, yet pretty freakin' important, leadership education. It's a good bet you are one of them if you're thinking the "bomb-proof" horse you recently brought home must have been drugged when you tried it out. Before you're tempted to accuse the seller of misrepresenting the horse, know that it is highly likely you are misinterpreting the situation.

Never take bomb-proof horses for granted. Not only is your safety your responsibility, but for a horse to carry you safely you've got let him know you have his back as well. Learn to provide your bomb-proof horse some bomb-proof leadership. That's your ticket to safe riding!

Get started by ordering your copy 

of The ALPHA Equestrian Challenge today. 

AN OPEN LETTER TO HORSE INDUSTRY PROFESSIONALS

Dave McLean is a volunteer at a therapeutic riding center. Soft spoken and careful in actions as well as words, his entire demeanor reeks of gentleness. It was easy to sense the concern in his voice as he spoke.

“A long time ago,” he said, “I vowed that I would never hit a horse. Well… the other day, after getting bitten for the umpteenth time, I found myself swinging at one. Granted, I missed, but I would have hit him if he hadn’t backed away. The whole thing surprised me. I felt mad! I was uncomfortable with how angry I actually felt.”

Getting mad is better than getting bitten, but with a little guidance, Dave could have avoided both. Whose job is it to provide that guidance? In too many barns nobody knows, which is why a crazy number of people wind up in Dave's position. Whose job should it be to provide guidance to horse handlers? If your business involves clients or staff handling horses, it should be your job. Sure it should.

As a professional in the horse industry, one of the best things you can do for yourself is help your clients and staff understand what it takes to provide good leadership to horses. Allowing horses to behave unmannerly causes handlers to get hurt, but so many of them don’t realize that it also causes horses to suffer undue anxiety.

All horse handlers should learn what to expect from horses in the way of good ground manners, and how to correct behaviors when necessary. Providing this education at your barn saves your folks the trouble of having to seek it elsewhere, which many of them will. Like Dave, they will be inspired by the frustration with and/or fear of the horses they are handling.

When they come to people like me and start learning that all they needed all along was some basic leadership skills, they’ll put two and two together… you can count on it. And that’s when they’ll ask the same question so many have asked before, “Why didn’t anybody say anything about leadership skills in the first place?” 

For your own professional integrity, don’t give the people you do business with reason to ask that question! It’s hard for anyone to answer it without causing you to appear less than professional.

The horse handlers in your barn need good leadership skills for their own safety. Please trust that they would prefer you inspire them to develop some... and before they wind up getting bitten enough times to get angry with horses, or hurt enough time to become frightened of them. 

_________________________________________

The ALPHA Equestrian Challenge teaches the basics of providing

good leadership to horses.  Click here to order your copy today!

Public Displays of Discipline are Nothing to Worry About

The other day I had a conversation with a gentleman who expressed concern about providing discipline to horses in front of other people. He didn't want anyone thinking he would ever mistreat a horse. That's a concern almost everyone has, including many professionals in the horse industry.  

Where is all this worry coming from when ninety-nine percent of the people passing through barn doors want to be kind to horses? The other one percent just wants directions to Starbucks.  

The worry comes from the fact that we are accustomed to thinking and speaking negatively about ourselves and other people. We all do it, but then we worry about others doing it to us. It's behavior exclusive to humans and totally counterproductive to happiness. We're hilarious, really. 

Discipline is part of the natural order of life for both humans and horses. Interesting thing about horses is, if one feels like you deserve some discipline it won't hesitate to provide it. Have you ever been bitten by a horse? Pushed out of the way? Kicked at? Well, there you go. You've been disciplined by a horse.

Did you notice the reprimand came fast and firm? Sure it did. Discipline is not something horses dillydally about or waste a lot of energy on.

Did you get the sense that the horse felt bad about reprimanding you? No, of course not. Horses don't bother themselves with feeling guilty about their actions. They are quite alright just learning from them.

Did other horses come running over to tell that horse he ought to be ashamed of himself for reprimanding you the way he did? Hardly. Horses will advocate on your behalf only if it provides immediate benefit to them. Meanwhile, they mind their own business.

I like the way horses approach discipline because they keep it plain and simple, never attaching remorse, shame or embarrassment to it. They are just straight and to the point. Don't hurt others and don't allow others to hurt you... it's a life lesson both humans and horses must learn to coexist peacefully with other beings. And we all learn it by hurting and getting hurt until we learn how to get it just right.

Trainers and riding instructors can only give their best guidance, but then they must get out of the way and let individuals start to figure out for themselves how to get it just right. What makes most people uncomfortable is seeing someone over-discipline a horse. That's what gets folks in an uproar and ready to jump on the social-media-public-shaming bandwagon. 

Before you are tempted to join in, know this. There's not a single great horse person in the world who hasn't done something they regretted. But you know what? That is how they learned best not to do it again. As a teaching tool, shaming anyone pales in comparison to letting folks learn from their own actions and providing them some empathy along the way. You are going to make your mistakes, too. To wit, lift up or shut up is a pretty good motto to live by.

To stay safe around horses, you've got to get over feeling bad about disciplining them when necessary... even if someone happens to be watching. You are responsible for yourself and your relationship with your horse at all times, not just when you are alone with him. 

Bear in mind that horses behave unmannerly mainly when they feel insecure. So, if you are chatting with another rider and your horse is stomping his hoof or nipping at you, he's basically wanting to know if you are still aware that you are supposed to be keeping him safe. Checking him on his manners right then and there reassures him that, yes, you are aware. It also sets a good example for the other rider... who might just be worrying about disciplining her horse in front of you.

__________________________________________________

To learn more about getting mannerly behavior from your horse, 

order The ALPHA Equestrian Challenge today!

BREEDING AND BEHAVIOR: What's One Got to do With the Other?

Question:  How much of your horse’s behavior should you attribute to its breed?

Answer:  As much as serves you. Period.

Beliefs about horse breeds are one of those things that continually get in the way of riders having great relationships with their horses. Because breeding helps determine a horse’s physical characteristics (size and shape of body, the way the horse is naturally inclined to move, etc.) it has much to do with the type of work or sport for which a horse might be best suited. But, from what I’ve seen, breeding has very little to do with how a horse behaves while performing its work or sport.

One of my closest friends insists her horses are bred to be hot, so she regularly calls me out on this. “You can’t argue with genetics,” she claims. No, but you can certainly argue for your own limitations by holding onto beliefs that don’t help you get the behavior you want from your horse.

  

It’s natural to form preconceived notions about different horse breeds based on what we see, hear or read…especially when opinions come from those we consider more ‘in the know’ than ourselves. But when long-held beliefs become roadblocks on the path to success, why not question them? As free thinkers, we get to believe whatever we want. If your goal is to be happy in your relationship with your horse, only good things can come from dumping beliefs that don’t lead you in that direction.

 

Folks dealing with high-strung horses, including my friend, are rarely thrilled about believing their horses are genetically predisposed to behave like drama-queens about every little thing. Quite often they settle for feelings of resignation after suffering plenty of feelings of frustration. They resign themselves to dealing with unwanted behavior despite the fact that there is a lot of evidence to suggest they don't have to. Go see for yourself. Go watch horses while they are out in their pastures among other horses. You will see the Arabs and thoroughbreds behaving pretty much the same as quarter horses or drafts.

I personally believe that, given the opportunity, horses of all breeds will gladly behave calmly because high-anxiety is emotionally and physically exhausting. Being in a state of calmness just feels better, a lot better, than being in a state of nervousness or fright. So, if you’re thinking your ex-racehorse can't help behaving like a big bundle of nerves, do yourself a favor and rethink things. Chances are he is behaving that way only because you believe he has no choice.

Question your beliefs about your horse’s breed. Are you holding onto any that are holding you back? If so, let go! Challenge yourself to believe what makes you happy.

__________________________________________

Give your horse the opportunity to behave calmly for you by

ordering The ALPHA Equestrian Challenge today!

STARTING FROM STILLNESS: This Changes Everything!

At the beginning of my (almost) daily yoga practice, I spend a few quiet moments sitting cross-legged on my mat.  I clear my head of any conscious thoughts by concentrating only my breathing. Yogi's call this a moment of stillness, and it was difficult for me to achieve or understand at first.  But the more I paid attention to my breath, the more I could begin to feel the way it moves my body. One day I started following that movement, allowing myself to sway gently back and forth as I drew in and released air. By "going with the flow" so to speak, I found myself coming into a state of such deep relaxation that I finally found a true moment of stillness in my mind. I was delighted, and what came next was even better. Having come to that place of stillness in my mind, it was suddenly a whole lot easier for me to move my body into downward dog positions and whatnot. Aha, finally the whole thing made sense.

The reason I bring this up is because, over the past several months, I've found that starting from stillness benefits me with horses too. I discovered this by accident when someone asked me to work with their ridiculously high-strung horse on a day I didn't feel like exerting much effort doing anything. Just being in the vicinity of the horse was wearing me out.

Now, normally, I allow nervous horses to move around as much as they seem to need, and I bring down their energy level gradually by getting them to do different things. But on this day, without even thinking about it, the second I took hold of the lunge line I gave it a quick jerk and said, "Whoa!" That halted the horse's feet for about 2 seconds. So I repeated the process a couple more times, and he finally planted his feet.

Then I just started moving away from the horse and his unwanted energy. If he attempted to move with me, I got after him and made him put his feet right back in place. I walked out about half the distance of the lunge line and just stood there. Except for making sure his feet stayed still, I didn't do anything but allow myself to feel calm despite the fact that the horse was frantically swinging his head from side to side.

Soon I began to sense a change. It felt like the horse was starting to think more about me and what I was doing, and less about any ghosts that might be trying to sneak up behind him. It was then that it occurred to me just how reasonable it was to ask him to stop moving his feet. I had unwittingly let him know that he and I were going to start from a moment of stillness. I was already in one of those moments myself...I just had to give him time to come into it with me. Horses always prefer to feel calm rather than nervous, so it didn't take him long to dump every bit of that negative energy he'd been carrying around.  

When he lowered his head and stood completely relaxed, I made my way leisurely back to him and spent some time just rubbing his neck, allowing the both of us to enjoy the moment. My own appreciation for it grew exponentially when I realized it took less than five minutes for that horse to go from high as a kite to completely calm, and I barely had to do a thing. Less than five freaking minutes!

Since that day, I've been starting from stillness every time I come into contact with an anxious or aggressive horse. How do they get that way in the first place? By being handled by folks who aren't completely comfortable handling some of their behaviors, that's how. If a horse spooks and freaks out its handler, the handler's negative nervous energy transfers right to the horse, causing it to spook a little more and so on. It's a vicious cycle. The reason it is easy for folks like me to break that cycle is because horses always do what's in their best interest. Since carrying around negative energy feels like crap, they are always willing to dump negative energy just as soon as someone lets them...a person who does not let any of their behaviors freak them out.

I've discovered that starting from stillness allows horses to dump any negative energy as soon as they meet me. It clears the air between us. It gets us both in a positive frame of mind (rather than just me) before I begin asking the horse to move its body in any way. And those few quiet moments make it sooooo much easier for horses to move their bodies the way I'd like for them to when I ask.

Sure, horses still present me with some pretty hefty challenges, but not nearly to the extent I'd come to expect.  Now, if a horse gets itself worked up about anything I ask it to do, I try to get it to halt as quickly as possible...and then I ask again from another moment of stillness. I feel like I am listening to horses much more closely than I had before. I am amazed at how much easier this has made my life, as well as the horses'.

Starting from stillness changes everything. I highly recommend you give it a try it, especially if you have not yet learned how to remain calm no matter what your horse does. That is a skill every rider needs, and this will give you plenty of time to practice. 

To learn more about getting calm behavior from your horse, 

order The ALPHA Equestrian Challenge today!

__________________________________________________