Horseback
riding is a ton of fun until fear halts you in your tracks. I’ve learned from
experience that fear is not a stop sign. It is a warning sign telling you
to PROCEED
WITH CAUTION.
Too
often we view fear as a weakness, something to be ashamed of or embarrassed by.
It feels negative so we learn to hide it, laugh it off or deny it. Yet, fear is
an emotion… and our emotions are our inner guidance systems meant to steer us
onto the paths that are right for us throughout our lifetimes. If you get a
good feeling about something, you are headed in a direction that is right for
you and vice versa. In our attempts to control our emotions, we tend to bury
them rather than listening to them and allowing them to guide us as they are
designed to do.
I
encourage riders to listen to fear as the voice of reason. “Slow down. Go easy
on yourself. Prepare yourself for the next step so you don’t get hurt.” Granted, most riders never hear that voice
until a horse does something that scares the crap out of them or until they
actually get hurt. Then the voice becomes loud and clear. DEAFENINGLY, MADDENINGLY
LOUD AND CLEAR…to the point that you want it just to shut up. But if you heed its warning, your fear will
stop screaming at you. “Slow down. Go easy on yourself. Prepare yourself for the next step so you
don’t get hurt.” What’s more reasonable than that?
Even
if your fear has slowed you to a halt, do not get down on yourself about it. It
is making you take the time you need to learn how to protect something
that is very valuable to you – your body. It’s the only one you are going to
get in this lifetime. Now that you are sensitive to it, your fear is and will
continue to help you protect your body around horses for the rest of your life.
Bless it and be grateful for it.
And
then move on knowing your work is not about overcoming fear. It is about...
- learning what it takes to get horses to behave calmly, and
- developing the ability to focus and remain calm no matter what so you can help your horse focus on you and remain calm no matter what.
To get horses to behave calmly, you must become sensitive to their fear and provide the leadership needed to prevent them from freaking out. Oddly, it is normal for people to learn how to ride without learning anything about this... so most riders have no idea they are missing a pretty vital chunk of information. First step first - educate yourself. Buy a book on the subject of leadership and read it. I would love it if you bought my book, but if it doesn't suit your fancy, buy someone else's...anyone else's.
Once you start learning what horses need from you as a leader, a light will click on. Suddenly a whole lot of things will start to make sense. You will begin to understand exactly why you are in the predicament of struggling with fear. But you will also learn what you need to do differently to get your horse to behave calmly for you.
Learning and practicing relaxation techniques will help you develop the ability to focus and remain calm at all times. To get really good at it with your horse, learn some basic leading and lunging exercises and then get out of the habit of working with your horse only when conditions are ideal.
You must have distractions to practice focusing through them. Is the wind howling? Are roofers hammering a new roof on the barn? Is a lawnmower or tractor running? That’s when you need to be working with your horse. Or create your own distractions with tarps, umbrellas, etc. Bomb-proofing exercises (working with your horse amid distractions) are perfect for helping you learn how to focus and remain calm no matter what.
Develop good leadership skills on the ground, apply them in the saddle and your fear will settle down. It will feel less like a ball and chain and more like sweet, dependable intuition, which prior to now you weren’t even aware you were lacking. In my opinion, you can’t become a great horseperson without it. A great rider, sure…but not a great horseperson.
Think about it. Lots of fearless riders stay glued to the saddle while horses fearfully buck, bolt and rear beneath them. To me, a great horseperson is someone who tries hard not to put a horse in that position. She will spend time on the ground building trust and cooperation with her horse, and won’t climb on its back until she is fairly darn certain she can easily and quickly calm the animal down if it should get frightened or confused. Let’s face it, we must have some sort of sensitivity to either our own fear or our horse’s to be willing to do that.
So go on…proceed with caution. When you look back, you will see how this struggle with fear caused you to expand in ways beneficial to both you and your horse.
Once you start learning what horses need from you as a leader, a light will click on. Suddenly a whole lot of things will start to make sense. You will begin to understand exactly why you are in the predicament of struggling with fear. But you will also learn what you need to do differently to get your horse to behave calmly for you.
Learning and practicing relaxation techniques will help you develop the ability to focus and remain calm at all times. To get really good at it with your horse, learn some basic leading and lunging exercises and then get out of the habit of working with your horse only when conditions are ideal.
You must have distractions to practice focusing through them. Is the wind howling? Are roofers hammering a new roof on the barn? Is a lawnmower or tractor running? That’s when you need to be working with your horse. Or create your own distractions with tarps, umbrellas, etc. Bomb-proofing exercises (working with your horse amid distractions) are perfect for helping you learn how to focus and remain calm no matter what.
Develop good leadership skills on the ground, apply them in the saddle and your fear will settle down. It will feel less like a ball and chain and more like sweet, dependable intuition, which prior to now you weren’t even aware you were lacking. In my opinion, you can’t become a great horseperson without it. A great rider, sure…but not a great horseperson.
Think about it. Lots of fearless riders stay glued to the saddle while horses fearfully buck, bolt and rear beneath them. To me, a great horseperson is someone who tries hard not to put a horse in that position. She will spend time on the ground building trust and cooperation with her horse, and won’t climb on its back until she is fairly darn certain she can easily and quickly calm the animal down if it should get frightened or confused. Let’s face it, we must have some sort of sensitivity to either our own fear or our horse’s to be willing to do that.
So go on…proceed with caution. When you look back, you will see how this struggle with fear caused you to expand in ways beneficial to both you and your horse.
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Very well written! I wish it wasn't the case that the "fearless" riders are usually the ones that get praised and often at the expense of the horse. But those who take the time it takes to do it the right way will always reap the rewards of a confident, trusting, and most importantly, willing horse. :)
ReplyDeleteLikewise Emily, your comment is very well written. I can remember quite vividly a conversation I had with this fella who bragged to us other cowboys, "Yea Buddy, I've been kicked, pawed, mauled, and bucked more horses than most other boys have ridden". I thought to myself as this guy wagged on, "That doesn't impress me one bit. You've never learned one iota about developing a relationship with a horse if that's what your history is all about".
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